Dear diary, something happened to me last week that I can’t shake off. I tried talking to many people about it, but they all seem to dismiss it. I don’t know where else to go. I am hopeful that writing it down might provide me with some peace.

Last week, it was a normal Friday, nothing out of the ordinary. I was making dinner for Jack and Junior while Junior napped, as newborns should, and Jack was resting before his night shift. When dinner was ready, I woke the boys up, we had dinner and spent quality time as a family until Jack had to leave for work. I kissed my husband goodbye, fed the baby and put him into his crib. I crawled into bed, read my book, and fell asleep.

Around 2 a.m., I woke up from noises coming from the baby’s room; Junior was hungry. I got out of bed, slid my bathrobe on, went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle from the fridge, warmed it up, and made my way to Junior’s room. I took him out of the crib, sat in the rocking chair, and rocked Junior back and forth while he ate. The rocking chair produces a soothing crackling sound, and I hum along to its rhythm to soothe the baby.

After the feeding, I rocked a little longer until Junior fell back to sleep. I placed him gently back into the crib and made my way back to my bed. I threw off my robe on the corner of the bed and wormed my way under my sheets. As you can imagine after months of broken sleep, I fell back asleep in an instant.

After I closed my eyes, it felt like only a moment passed and I woke up once again. My alarm clock displayed just past 5 a.m., indicating that Junior was likely hungry again. I sat on the edge of my bed, slid my bathrobe back on and as I was lifting myself from the bed, I heard something. Noise, other than Junior, coming from his room. I cautiously got out of bed, quietly shuffled my way to the door, and listened to the sound emanating through the hallway. I could hear the cracking of the rocking chair and such a beautiful lullaby. Jack was home. I felt so grateful since he usually falls asleep right when he gets home, and nothing could wake him up. He must’ve wanted to give me a break tonight.

I leaned against the wall to appreciate the moment and the beautiful lullaby Jack was gently singing. Fatigue eventually took over, and to show my gratitude, I took advantage of the opportunity and made my way back to bed. I closed my eyes, and once again, fell fast asleep.

The next time I woke up was around 8a.m. due to the sound of dishes clinking and clacking in the kitchen. As I was waking up, I could also hear Junior cooing in the kitchen as well. Jack must be making the family breakfast. I got out of bed, still in my bathrobe, slid into my slippers and shuffled my way into the kitchen.

As expected, Jack was making some of his famous eggs and bacon, while feeding Junior his baby formula. We said good morning, I kissed Jack and went to sit beside Junior. As I took over feeding Junior, I thanked Jack for last night. He was at the stove scrambling eggs as he looked back at me with a confused expression. He asked me what I meant. I thought he was kidding around and told him that I really appreciate the break last night. He turned off the stove, turned around and looked straight at me and asked once again what I meant.

I decided to play along and thanked him for feeding Junior last night. Jack looked at me and said he didn’t feed Junior last night. I told him I heard him rocking on the rocking chair with Junior, and he was singing such a beautiful lullaby. Jack shook his head in disbelief and had a tinge of frustration layered on his face. Jack assured me that first, he doesn’t sing lullabies to Junior, since he doesn’t know any, and second, he stayed late at work due to overtime and he just got home around thirty minutes ago.

I didn’t know what to say.

Jack saw the worry on my face and dismissed it as I’ve been really tired lately and probably just dreamt the whole thing. He also tried to reassure me that Junior was particularly hungry this morning, which makes sense if he skipped a meal last night. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t a dream, that I know I was awake and heard what I heard. And there was no way that Junior would skip a meal without causing a tantrum and waking me up. Jack kept dismissing it and became increasingly frustrated every time I tried to talk about it. I decided to keep it to myself. I tried telling my parents and friends, and they keep telling me similar things, like I must’ve dreamt it or I imagined it.

But, I know someone fed Junior that night and I heard them rock and sing to my child. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t Jack. Who was in my house holding my baby?